Watch “Honoring Doyle Tucker” on YouTube

Honoring Doyle Tucker: https://youtu.be/ZvZmCG-GZOI

Lessons From My Father Vol.1

There are certain thresholds in a person’s life that once crossed, you become sure that you will never be the same. For me, that time is now.

March 5th of this year my father and hero Doyle Tucker crossed the ultimate threshold. Undoubtedly, heaven received him with open arms. I’m comforted with the realization that he wouldn’t come back if he could.

So now, I am left to search and gather the treasures that were hidden for me. I have found myself referring to the wealth of love and wisdom that he left behind. But, the question of how to put it all together still lingers.

Ultimately, I understand that this is a lifelong process that cannot responsibly be answered in a single blog series. My venture is not to fully answer the question so much as to fully ask the question.

This blog series will be a collection of truths, principals and life lessons I learned from the life of my father, Doyle Tucker.

Altough the journey is a personal one, I truly hope it will encourage, enlighten and inspire someone else along the way.

My father was the most intelligent human being I have personally known. He was brilliant. There were times when I wondered how far the rabbit hole went. “Does he know something about everything?”

Well, of course he didn’t, but he certainly knew more than me. And the moment I realized just that, I became a little wiser. And over time, I became much wiser; with a lifetime of growth still yet to come.

We were close. But, not the kind of close that’s defined by frequent conversations, emails or inboxes through social media. I guess a better word might be kindred. We understood one another. We spoke the same language. We were, more or less, connected in a cerebral sense. Don’t get me wrong, we talked… well mostly he talked, I listened. But, isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be?

My father lived to love and loved to give. He never accumulated the kind of extra money to be anywhere near a noted philanthropist. But, whatever he had he was was more than willing to give away.

He taught me that life pretty much comes down to how you love and what you give. He loved hard and he gave continuously.

My father was a humble man. Although he stood 6 1/2 feet tall, he never wanted to be the center of attention. He never craved the spotlight. However, it usually seemed to find him.

He preferred to defer. He truly mastered the art of humility. I always supposed it was his natural inclination,  but the older I get the more I suspect it was a practiced intention of his heart and mind.

Humility hurts. Especially at first. In the same way as lifting weights, or running a few miles might hurt initially to the point you think you might die. That’s what humility feels like when it is unexercised and undeveloped. Humility is a muscle…a beautiful muscle. Once developed, it doesn’t hurt so much anymore. My father proved that to me.

I can hear him say… “God resists the proud, but gives grace (empowerment) to the humble.”

I’ve come to realize in business and relational exchanges that humility is a rare commodity. That’s one reason he was so special. He took the time to develop something most people never consider.

That’s one of the many reasons I call him My Champion. He showed me something I may not see many other places. He did one of the hardest things a man can do. He established and cultivated a lifestyle of humility.

I recently realized that I can celebrate my father’s life through a living a life of consistent humility. I know that would make him proud.

I may not do as good as you, Daddy, but at least I’ve got something to shoot for.

Who Are You?

This is a question that is usually posed to an individual you’ve never met before, or someone you’ve failed to recognize. It’s a very direct question that could be perceived as abrasive, but there are definitely times when this question is appropriate to ask. The answer to the question will usually determine what takes place thereafter. Conversely, when an individual decides to live a life of purpose, this question becomes one they must ask themselves. Who am I? Subsequent actions and life-altering decisions will hinge on how this question is answered. It’s sobering to consider how many people live and die without ever asking themselves this question, much less finding the answer. The sad truth is that most of us allow external influences, or life experiences to define us. I know, we can grow and develop through what we experience and who we choose to align ourselves with. However, most people never get that far. Our culture tells us that the more we blend in, the better our lives will be. Our willingness to look like, dress like, smell like, and think like the pervasive cultural norm will ultimately lead to social acceptance, and therefore, happiness. This is a lie. The truth of the matter is that we are all as different as our fingerprints. That’s the beauty of humanity. We are all carefully and specifically designed by God to be individually authentic. We all possess something that no one else does. This is overwhelmingly evident in small children. I love children because they are so effortlessly authentic… Until we mess them up. My sister, Dara, who I respect immensely, once called me and said “You’ve painted a masterpiece over the original.” I have never forgotten those words because they exposed me this truth I had not considered. Who you learn to be will never be as beautiful as who you were made to be. Authenticity isn’t something we learn, it’s something we lose. But, anything that is lost can also be found. Finding the true you can begin by simply asking the question, who am I? Ultimately, it will not be your similarity to others, but your difference from others that will define you. So learn to embrace your difference… No one can do you like you.

The Reason

I feel as if my first post should be somewhat of a mission statement. Not the sort of mission statement that simply defines the objectives of my blog for my readers. After all, I don’t even have any readers yet. Rather, this is the sort of statement that one might carry in his or her pocket, or purse. The kind of statement that is intimate and personal.

Too often, when we embark on a long journey, so much changes along the way. And though change is often good, sometimes, in the unpredictability of our adventure, we alter our course, or forget why we set sail in the first place. This post will serve as something like a lighthouse. A point of reference to remind me of what this is all about… People.

People are my passion. Not the ones that can offer me promotions, or get me to that next level of income. Not the ones that make me look good, or tell me how brilliant I am. Those people come and go, so I’ve learned. The people I’m in love with are the people who need me. I often tell my sons that God created them specifically to impact the lives of a certain group of people. This group of people could be scattered across the globe, but they all have one thing in common… You. They may never meet each other, or know one another’s names, but they are all connected to each other through you. They all need what’s in you, I tell them. They all drink from your fountain.

I don’t claim to know who this group of people is, what they look like, or how big the group is. I do hope that will become clearer over time, but at this point, it isn’t important. The important thing is that I know you’re out there… and you need me. Not because I’m awesome, but because what God put in me is for you. And what God put in you is for someone else. That’s just the way it works. This is not about me, it’s about you.

Although the tide may high at times, it’s sure to be a beautiful ride. I’ll see you on the other side.